Hey fellas! Uh, my friends told me this was a neato site that would love this cool joke I just came up with. They said you were real swell guys and that you love jokes and all and well… I thought that was just the best darn news I heard all day! So anyways, here's my joke. I hope you like it.

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Uh, okay. So a family walks into a talent agency. It's a mom, dad, a son, daughter, and their little dog. Uh, and so the dad tells the talent agent, "Gee whiz Mr. Talent Agent, uh, if you'd give us a moment of your time, my family has a really super special act that we know you'll love!" And the mean old talent agent says, "We don't sign family acts, so get the heck out of my office!" To which the dad replies, all sore and all, "Now listen here mister! We worked really hard on this act and you're going to watch it boy-howdy! Uh, please?" To which the talent agent finally says, "Alright, just get it over with," before eating some sort of pills. Uh, I think to make him super interested or something! Yeah…

So, uh, the family gets right into it! The son turns on some neato music as the dad takes the mom, dances around with her, spins her around, lifts up her frilly little skirt, takes out his wiener and starts doing things to her butthole! Uh, I think. Uh, and the son gets all indecent and starts doing things to his sister's mouth that… well... that should get him grounded to be honest. While that's going on the cute, little dog walks over to the mom and dad, gets under the mom, and puts his little guy in her vagina! Huh, I guess he was feeling left out already. Poor little guy.

So, uh, after about two minutes of that, the dad takes his wiener out of the mom's butthole and puts it in the little dog's mouth, while putting his whole arm into the mom's butthole and his other arm in the dog's butthole.

Huh.

Anyways, the son now takes his wiener out of his sister's mouth and turns her around. He then grabs the back of her neck and slams her head-first into the floor, gets on top of her, sticks his wiener in her butthole, and starts riding her around the stage like a little donkey, pulling at her hair and all. Now that sounds kinda unfair. I mean, I'd be grounded if I tried that! I mean, if I had a sister that is.

So, uh, the dad, with his arms completely up the mom's and dog's buttholes, starts spinning around with them while tap-dancing to the classical works of Mister Jefferson and Bubbles! While that's going on, the son, who is still riding his sister, grabs his father and lifts him over his head.  So now the son is riding his sister around the stage, with his wiener inside of her butthole, while holding his father over his head, who is holding the mom and their little dog over his head, with his arms still up both their buttholes, all while singing the song "Beat It" from Mister Jefferson's oldies records.

After the song stops, the dad jumps out of his son's hands, does a flip, and dropkicks his son in the face. Oww… Uh, now of course, the impact of this kick knocks the son back with so much force that it dislocates his wiener that was still in his sister's butthole. The son then starts tugging on his dislocated wiener, trying to fix it and all, until his father, with both the little dog and the mom still being held up by his arms in their buttholes, starts forcing them to take turns sucking the son's wiener! Uh, this goes for less than 20 seconds before the son's dislocated wiener squirts out a weird mixture of semen, blood, and pee all over the mom, the dog, and the dad. Now of course, it would be awfully mean to just leave the daughter out of all this. So the daughter during all of this, still having a dislocated neck from before, lies under her brother, without much movement, while he sits on her face with his butt, stands up, and sits back down, over and over while his wiener is doing its business with the rest of the family.

But the semen, blood, and pee all over the family is so icky that it makes the dad puke into the mom's mouth, who then pukes into the little dog's mouth, who then swallows all the puke. Kinda disgusting but… uh.. OH! And the dog then starts pooping all over the place. And it gets everywhere! On the stage, on the family, on the audience; everywhere! And before anyone can even react to this really stinky poop explosion, the Super Best Friends walk into the room. And for a moment, they just stand there and look at all the destruction, the blood, the poop, the semen, the son's dislocated wiener and the daughter's dislocated neck. And Jesus Christ, the Lord himself, walks to the front of the group and says, "Stop, my children. This has gone on long enough." And so Muhammad, Joseph Smith, and the Buddha walk forward to join Jesus, take off all their holy clothes and stuff, turn to each other, and start molestering each other in their buttholes!

And so, as the rest of the Super Best Friends join in and are molestering each other, the family starts rolling around in the poop… uh, poop-semen-pee-blood mixture as the father whistles to someone off stage. With that, a doctor comes on stage with a needle-thingy and injects the dad with "Super-Aids". The dad then starts jumping around his family members, who are…uh… well are probably all dead at this point if I do say so myself, and starts molestering the dead bodies of the mom, the son, the daughter, and the little dog, who died from all the poop coming out of him while he was choking on the puke, with his now infected wiener. Eww…

And so the dad then walks over to each member of the Super Best Friends and starts molestering them too, one by one, as the Ginger Kids with their fiery wieners come dancing in with my good Jewish friend Kyle in some sort of bondage-doohickey I once saw in my mom's closet, Tom Cruise and the Church of Scientology come in and start molestering the Ginger Kids, a re-animated Hitler comes flying into the building on a Zeppelin singing "O Tannenbaum" with some cute, little Christmas critters beside him molestering my other friend, uh… my best friend Eric Cartman, played by a ninety-piece orchestra of Canadians co-conducted by none other than Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden's stand in, Michael Moore!   

Uh… and so everyone on stage just scatters around, all slippy and slidy with all the indecent stuff on the stage, grabs all the bodies of the mom, dog, son, and daughter lying everywhere, scrambles back to the middle of the stage, extend out their arms and yell in the most gosh darn happy tone I've ever heard in my life, "TA DAAA!"

And so the talent agent just sits there and says nothing for like 30 seconds. And when he does finally speak, all he can say is, "Jesus Christ, what in God's name do you even call an act like that?"

And the dad says, "The Aristocrats!"